It's almost June!

It's almost June -- just wanted to state the obvious. Time is rushing past and I just don't like it at all! My first born will be 15 soon. I love watching all my kids grow up, I just wish it wasn't happening so fast. I can remember being 15! She's going in to High School soon and before I know it she'll be graduated and right behind her the other 2 teens will graduate as well! In 5 years half my kids will be graduated! It is amazing to me to be able to guide them on their path to "maturity" I'm not quite there yet my self, but when I get there I'll have a lot of insight! The other half of the kids will hopefully benefit from what I've learned from parenting the older ones. I often refer to the younger 3 kids as the "young ones" (I'm sure Bryce, my 10 year old, doesn't appreciate that term). I never intended on having a split family, I wanted to have all my kids close together. Heavenly Father had other plans. For a while we didn't think we were going to be able to have any more kids after Trasey. I had an Ectopic Pregnancy and lost a Tube. Prior to that getting pregnant was a breeze! Lexi and Tricia are only 11 months apart and Tricia and Trasey are only 14 months apart. Then we practiced being patient and 3 1/2 year later Bryce was born. After that Malery was another 3 1/2 years and finally Landon another 3 1/2. I did meet my goal of being done by the time I was 30 (sort of, I was 30 while pregnant with Landon). I was actually pregnant 9 times. Only one of the miscarriages was emotionally difficult for me, we had been trying for a long time and fortunately I was able to get pregnant again right after. It felt like I was pregnant for a year!

It was quite a milestone when I was able to get Landon potty trained and out of diapers. It felt like we had been changing diapers for almost 14 years! We had a small break during that time, and it was a great celebration to finally be done! There are plenty of other milestones. Lately I have been caught off guard by the other "last times" we've had. Landon is in Sunbeams at church, so we had the "last time" in nursery. But with each "last time" we still have plenty of "first times" Tricia turned 14 earlier this month and she was very excited to go to the SND (Saturday Night Dance) for the first time. Having kids is a bit like having a time machine. I can flash back to when I was that age. I can remember the excitement of driving to the dance and wondering if "he" was going to be there, or wondering if I was going to be brave enough to ask someone to dance. The anticipation, like butterflies, fluttering in my stomach as I hurried in the door to the dance. I wonder if my girls feel the same. I actually have two 14 year olds for a month. Lucky for me they mostly get along well. All three of the teenagers get along about 85% of the time. Trasey isn't technically a teenager, but she will be in July and I'm sure she doesn't mind being included in that category.

I'm glad that I can remember being their age. I used to pray for that. I, like most teenagers, thought that my parents just didn't understand and I vowed that I would remember what it felt like so that I could relate to my kids. Fortunately for me I can remember and I tell them that often. It frequently comes in handy...this remembering thing. I am often able to use these memories for good and for, well bad-that is bad for them that I can remember. Especially when it comes to some of the manipulation. Oh these teens can be tricky, but this mom hopes that she can be tricky-er! I feel that my kids are getting ever closer to that "jumping off" point in their lives. This point is where I have to sit back and hope I taught them all the need to fly. How do momma birds do it? A lot of prayers! I'm very happy that there isn't a limit on the number of prayers a person is aloud to utter, I'm sure there will be days when each breath will be a prayer. For now I will continue with the ultimate prayer of please let them be safe, please let them make good choices and please let them know and love Thee.

June will be here and gone and I'm sure another 8 months may pass before I write again. But I write for me. Usually because I can't sleep and my Manic side is acting up. Being manic has a few perks, unfortunately I don't think insomnia is a perk. I'll try sleep again now that I've gotten some typing out of my system. I'm sure I'll read this in the morning and it won't sound nearly as interesting as it does in my head. ha! that's the way it goes.

Good bye for now!